Zombie's mood

Lifewise Unwise etc...wise

2005-10-28T13:40:39Z

Workwise:
I worked as an extra in a national commercial for "Toro" dinner sauces and gravies. So in two to three weeks, you might recognize me as "the guy pretending to be eating in the background of that gravy commercial". It earned me 1000 grunker* as well. Sweet!

Lingowise:
I finally took my latest exam in Latin, and I'm currently trying to learn Japanese. Nihongo-o yomimasu. Hai.

Dreamwise:
Last night I dreamt that I jumped ontop of a bridge while holding a towel, and suddenly the wind caught me and I was flying about 1000 m high up in the sky. It was an amazing feeling. Then I realized that I was going to die once I hit ground again. That too was an amazing feeling, accepting that death was coming. Of course, it was a dream, so naturally I made it safely back down. But still... uh... oh well.

*: norwegian money; approx the value of 14,5 kg of cheese

Descartes, reversed and modified

2005-10-05T21:08:53Z

I am, therefore I think not, young lady!

Poop!

2005-09-14T23:43:00Z

Say... am I the only one who gets a hesitating feeling whenever I put on boxers that say "!Solid"?

Memory overload

2005-07-07T00:57:31Z

I survived the Roskilde Festival. I didn't enjoy it so much this year, since I was more likely to sit down and cry rather than to actually go to the concerts, but it did feature, among a bunch of other sweetstuffs, four projects with Mike Patton, all of which took my fancy:

Kaada/Patton
Fantômas
Patton/Rahzel
Maldoror

So it's been an eventful last week. I'm however all sad and shook up. I don't know why. But anyway, I don't feel like writing more right now. Have to sleep. Nitey!

Word wizard of DOOM

2005-06-24T01:44:54Z

Today I beat myself in Scrabble. Yay for me.

Clear signs of recuperation

2005-06-19T01:09:35Z

So...

Miscalculation: There'll be no hospitalization. Not yet, anyway. I don't know what happened. Them psychophants had me phooled. Shitfags. Ergo, alas, I'm still left over to my overmedicated, whining self, licking my wounds with a poisonous toungue. Keep thinking that the key to salvation is spartan lifestyle combined with childish play. Yarr. Will have to clear out my room and flush away my little satanic henchman, or computer, as some call it. I have too many "things". I want to make tings, like cartoons or comics, but I keep failing, and fall into dark mindscapes. My bastard mentors inside me keep carving me up, and shove me into little pink sausages and feed me to horny german leatherclad demons. I gasp and cry out my need for primordial barbarism; I want to run naked and roaring into a forest of grime and explode in a fountain of blood and screams and excrement. Delivery from my cowardice. I have to scratch and tear, gore my filthy sinner-hands into my stomach, through flesh and sinew and feces and rip out my innards and cut them into little pieces of dogfood. Grab my heart and soul, and gorge on all my fears, just lay bare all the sins and filth of my life and my past. Eat it all up and laugh manically while I gargle my spleen and masturbate onto my freshly cut out anus. And at the top of my feast of metaphorical body gook (of course it's all metaphorical; what, you think I'm some kind of sicko?), then I forgive myself. Just tell my constant nerves to go buttrape themselves with at rusty razor. Only then will I have peace...

Anyway, all this scatporn cleared out, however, my life still has no filling. I'm as empty a personality as they come. One idea for provisional means to satisfy this need for "purpose", is reading, under the alibi of becoming wiser. Let it be known at this point that I've read very few books; I read very slowly. Nevertheless, I just finished reading "Good Omens" by Gaiman and Pratchett. Damn fine reading, but I felt the ending left something to be desired. A few too easy solutions in the hazy roundup. But then again, it's hard to make a perfect apocalypse, and they almost did. Now I'm trying once more for "Steppenwulf" by Hesse, seeing as I only managed to get halfways through before the library wanted it back. So, I guess for the record, my "meaning of life" is reading. Hm. Deep.

You know... I really wanted to write something nice today.

No reason to be Cool

2005-06-05T00:34:14Z

I believe I shall resign from the World Wide Online Community for quite a while. Not that I update particularly often lately; but then again, if you knew how much annoyingly lardy, whiny bitching I spare you each day by not posting, you'd probably all hug me and give me lots of dollars. Anyway, it is my firm belief that my computer is if not Satan himself, then at least one of his favourite henchmen. And I am his ever obedient slave, as he ejaculates his DOOM all over my wrinkly ass. So, in other words, I need a little time off; a little rebellion, if you like. That, and I'm being shipped off to some asylum in a few weeks or so. Medicine's not working.

You what now?

2005-05-26T20:34:59Z

I may have reached an all time low now; I flunked my kendo-grading. Even the only one to do so too. Now I have nothing.

I rot.

A quick fix of self pity

2005-05-08T07:24:37Z

Edronax. Citalopram. Cipramil. Modiodal. Ritalin. Fluanxol. Valergan. Melatonin. Risperdal. Zyprexa.

My bedroom is full of medicine. Yet still, I'm not better. Psychosis, psychosomatic aggravation, anxiety. Derangements within derangements. I don't know where to look or turn. There's no relief. How I yearn for rest.

I try to sleep, but then come the nightmares. Much too real nightmares. Every night. And thanks to narcolepsy, I never wake up. I'm locked inside my own body, running for my life. Dreads. Horrors. Blunders, even.

And worst of all, I fear, is that this is life. This is as good as it gets.

I rot.

None too surprising...

2005-04-22T05:12:50Z

You scored as Mushrooms. Shrooms! You're still goin for one of the most natural drugs. You'd like to visit a whole other world, and see things you've never seen before. Fucking trippy.

</td>

Mushrooms

88%

Marijuana

69%

Cocaine

56%

Ecstacy

50%

Inhalents

50%

Alcohol

50%

None!

44%

What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com

Who needs a body?

2005-04-16T21:07:48Z

My body's rebelling lately. I'm freezing and shaking and sweating cold, yet I'm not "ill". I can't relax and constantly feel like blacking out and exploding into a pool of salty tears. It may well be my new medicine. It's a heavy anti-psychotic drug. I just finished with my amphetamine-like drug (ritalin) because, well, guess what; it made me sleepy. How can that be? Stupid medicine. Well, fuck me for bitching about my medicine.

I dreamt that I was my own father last night. There were some massive conspirations about, entailing, amongst others, a band of arab nomads who pretended to kill me and my son (me) on camera, in order to save us from the mother. She'd called my son "Monrose", something that made me very annoyed. I've slept a lot lately. Of the last 36 hours, somewhere close to 30 of them have been spent in Noddyland. Still, I'm as sleepy now as I was before. It's very hard for me to stay awake on a regular basis, but now I have no control anymore. Fell asleep during class, at my friends place, at dinnertable, at kendo and almost even while driving my motorbike. This is not very good.

Argh, by body's fucking me up again. Have to sleep.

Nana.

As inspired by Britt, Matt and Kellie

2005-04-04T03:42:07Z

#1:

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Created by naw5689 and taken 24107 times on bzoink!
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:	Tom Lehrer
Are you male or female:	"That's Mathematics"
Describe yourself:	"Smut"
How do some people feel about you:	"Poisoning pigeons in the park"
How do you feel about yourself:	"Pollution"
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:	"Who's next?"
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:	"When you are old and gray"
Describe where you want to be:	"In old Mexico"
Describe what you want to be:	"The old dope peddler"
Describe how you live:	"The masochism tango"
Describe how you love:	"The wiener schnitzel waltz"
Share a few words of wisdom	"We will all go together when we go"
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

#2:

1. Post the names of 20 of your favorite musicians.
2. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
3. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song.

01: JS Bach
02: Ulver
03: Kraftwerk
04: Bogus Blimp
05: Tool
06: Tomahawk
07: Morphine
08: Portishead
09: Bent
10: Amon Tobin
11: Tsuneo Imahori
12: Einstürzende Neubauten
13: DJ Shadow
14: Kid Loco
15: Brian Eno
16: King Crimson
17: Tipsy - Grossenhosen (busted by Åsmund)
18: Esperanza
19: Pink Floyd
20: Jan Johansson

Take the bus when it rains? Pah! That's for sissies!

2005-03-13T15:12:19Z

Ole thought it was the season to start using his bicycle again...

Ah, "monkey never learns", eh?

Mmm, bruises...

2005-03-07T02:34:02Z

Ah, and so I passed kendo grading. I now hold the grade of "4th kyu". I have no idea what that entails, but it sounds... nice? I also participated in the local championship. I have never even been sparring in kendo before, and there I was, having my debut in a championship. With armour and all. It was great; I didn't score any points, and I was basically downright slaughtered, but it was still great. I lasted a whole three minute round and lost by only one point in one of the matches, so I think impressed nevertheless, since nobody expected me to do anything else than to roll over and die. I think that, in time, this is something in which I might excel. I like the thought of that.

I now take the opportunity to quote the norwegian dubbing of "Asterix in Britain"; one of my absolute favourite cartoons

- "La oss dø med sverd i hånden"
- "For en ridderlig god idé!"

O avuncule; quid feci?

2005-03-03T14:13:41Z

I just had an exam in Latin; got an A! Yay! And yesterday they gave us a home assignment as well. I think I'll answer it as a comic about the everyday hero Caius Primus or something like that. Might be fun.

And if anyone wishes; please feel free add khem@online.no to your msn messenger.

Omnipotence! Yeah!

2005-03-01T18:57:43Z

So... Kendo grading in less than a week. I've never been to a martial arts grading before. I only have experience from boxing, where there's no such thing as grading involved. It's all about bag-punching, face-bashing and rope-skipping all from the start. Haven't done that in aeons though. Hm. I kinda miss it.

I always juggle zillions of projects, but I rarely complete any of them. I've therefore agreed with myself to prioritize getting my server and webpages up and running, in order to use them as a base for future experiments. I also promised to host some of Maria's photos and movie projects, so I cant postpone it any longer. I've got the domain and the server, and thanks to the good help of my room-mate Tore, I also got a nameserver. But there's still a bit of work to do in getting the servers online. And the fact that I have no clue whatsoever on how to do that, well, it doesn't actually help. I don't want to exploit poor Tore either. He's working very hard and he just had a bad run-in with the womankind. He looks burnt-out, and that worries me enough already. So if anyone's got a copy of "the rookies comprehensive guide to apache http server mastery", I'd be you slave for a week if I could borrow it.

Just for a sense of abundance, here is a short list of other projects:

* Arranged, obscene footage/documentary of myself; "the naked truth about ole"(?)
* AMV-work for Matt at Slacker Studios; currently working on Noir (anime) to music by Shellyz Raven
* Comic book in latin
* Various "art" collections/themes
* Swordsmanship; "theory, practice and etiquette for the modern swordmaster" (Hahaha, yes, corny, I know)
* Short stories
* Plastaline film
* Animation; both by hand and in Flash.
* Fight evil, then bring DOOM

There's plenty more, but who cares? Anyway, if anyone has ideas or suggesteions, please don't hesitate to unravel.

grossenhosen @ 2005-02-11T01:08:00

2005-02-11T00:19:14Z

Brain scan and blood samples turned out normal. So at least I don't have MS. Doctor's sending me to yet another specialist (a neurologist this time), which makes a total of 5. Since the Modiodal® medicine didn't work, I am to try amphetamine of some kind this time. Exciting!

Started training again. Pumping iron and stuff. Also joined Bergen Kendo Society; even got my own shinai (bamboo sword). I watched the intermediates fight yesterday. It looks so awesome! I can hardly contain myself while waiting to get into that armour, ready to wack and get wacked. Sure, it will leave me constantly bruized, but I'll be able to spank up anyone who points that out.

Fridge Poetry

2005-02-06T10:00:47Z

In our appartment, we have instances of so called "fridge poetry"; tiny magnetic bricks, each containing a word, toghether with which you can add other bricks with other words on them, in order to form sentences, or "poetry". Even though it's an annoying waste of time, every now and then I end up with something interesting. All the examples below currently decorate our refrigerator:

#1
I love the smell of hairy nurse-holes in the morning

#2
My cold hand shivered
deep within her moist young sister

#3
Good God run away
all this poetry is gay

#4
Yes
I kiss men
but I never swallow

#5
Pink Lullaby

Girl, cry as I sting
your sweet virgin ring
while I luciously sing
of how boys are my thing

#6
The ugly girls
drink my fat old sex

#7
You
are
one
sad
country

Good things don't always come to you

2005-02-02T15:12:17Z

New Icon. Hm.

The dizzyness prevails. I faint and wobble about all day. But it has merrits. I don't analyze, because that makes me nauseous. One would think that's a bad thing, but it's not: it makes me spontaneous as hell, and I'm incapable of worrying. It's a new sensation, I think, and even though I'm good for nothing, at least I do new things and have a laugh about it.

Due to this new batch of impulsiveness, I've been to a lot of auditions lately. One for interpretive dance and two for acting. I got a part in a movie. Just a tiny role; three lines and a bit of acting. But I might get some bigger parts if I do well. Filming starts in two hours. Wish me luck!

All in all

2005-01-28T21:14:29Z

Leisure: I'm making claymations (animated plastaline films). Very time consuming and you need the patience of Job, but oh what fun!

Health: First week of constant canabis-like dizzyness was fun, but it's been a few weeks now, and quite frankly, it's beginning to tear on me. Got two more doctors, so now I litterally work with a team of doctors/experts to find the soulutions to certain problems.

Healthy leisure: I adore cartoonist David Firth. He is an unsettling genious of vast proportions. He's the creator of the legendary "Salad Fingers" series, but he's made a lot more. In the spirit of laughter and sharing, I showed some friends one of his masterpieces, Milkman, in hope of making their day a brighter one. Now, I'll admit that the film is a tad morbid, but what shocked me was the surprise of them all yelling at me, saying that "it wasn't funny at all, you pervert, it was just sick sick sick, just like ole, who just stood there laughing!" Now they look at me in a funny way. That really put me out. I honestly do not consider this piece bad at all. Just very surprising and god damn funny.

In the name of pity

2005-01-20T02:56:53Z

This wednesday I was a father-to-be for a day. It was great, and Ole was smiling like a hysterical maniac. Hanna's pregnant (as far as I'm concerned, I'm not to blame). We were cute, holding hands and hugging and such. In the evening I followed her home and kissed her goodnight. Afterwards I went home and made some more disgustingly obscene filming of a nude Ole. I think maybe I'm, subconsciously, making a concept out of it. Something that might end up as a movie or documentary about myself. All in the nude and perversely "honest". But I like it.

Went through more tests. Cerebral scan this time. More blood samples are to be taken tomorrow. Apparently, doc's not sure if I'm a narcoleptic after all, since my medicine didn't work. They're currently checking for multiple sclerosis (MS) - yay for me, I get a rapid lapse of the central nervous system, ultimately winding up in a painful death. Suddenly, incurable narcolepsia doesn't sound like such a bad deal after all. In the end though, a "lethal" illness would make all the pieces fit I guess.

So, with the possibly impending doom of mr Ole, I went on a shopping spree that left me 4000 grunker (approx US$ 650) poorer. Bought some movies (Riget I & II, Tokyo Godfathers and Kagemusha - the shadow warrior), loads of candy and a two bags full of painting equipment. Hell, I've better be dying now!

Anyway, I know I'm exaggerating this whole shitty infirmity business, and quite frankly I don't really care. I probably caused this myself, through my lack of caution. I just like to whine.

Hey Boy, why are you crying?

2005-01-14T01:54:04Z

I am falling drastically apart and am therefore not going to write about me. Well, apart from that I just filmed myself in the nood. That was nice.

In an attempt to get "Finding Neverland", a movie with Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, my roommate accidently ended up downloading an obscure underground film called simply "Neverland". We, being me, my roommate and his girlfriend, did however not know of this mixup before the whole film was over, and were all quite baffled as the bizarely modified plot of good old "Peter Pan" made it's freakish stroll across the screen. Wendy, Michael and John, the "children" were all twisted adopted ethnic children. Tink, the fairy, was a burn-out raver girl, giving out her small plastic bags of "fairy dust" to make the children "fly". Peter Pan himself was a charming but psychotic boy, so locked up in his own delirious dreamworld that he thought he'd never grow old. The most beautifully portrayed character was still "Captain Hook", the perversely homoerotic head of maintainance of the "Neverland" theme park, obsessed with capturing the squatting "lost boys" and hang the by "the hook" in his kinky underground dungeon...

... in which we find this lovely excerpted bit of dialogue:

"
Wendy: Are we to die?
Hook: ... from PLEASURE!
"

I'm not going to give away more of this amazing piece of giggle-machinery. Go see now!

grossenhosen @ 2005-01-11T00:27:00

2005-01-11T02:43:05Z

Just made a new friend. Gordon Finck. I made him out of modelling clay. I think he's danish. A manipulative old dickhead, but I like him. Doesn't talk much, and when he does it's usually questions about my childhood. He claims that we're related, but I doubt so. Still, I just call him uncle Gordon, however kinky it sounds. It happens that he tells me stories, wondrous adventures, of fantastic creatures, unearthly landscapes and vibrant characters. They are neat, modest stories, but always have brilliant sarcasm and irony about them. I really enjoy his stories.

Still full of bad bacteriae. Dizzzzy and coughing. Psychotic as hell, thinking my smart hat will save me from the strange powers of... um... I don't know what. My room is full of personalities, and they all want to be present at the same time. They're all talking over eachother. I get headaches and have to sleep in the livingroom. Hanna came to see me last friday. She gave me some "pills for nothing" (fun candy) and some late-seventies WWII comic books. She's good (and pregnant too, which is weird). We sat down and just... talked. It was nice. She claims I've gotten much worse since last time she saw me. She had a theory that the bedroom personalities have once manifested out of my cardinal moods, then evolved and thus eventually consumed all my moodstuffs. That might also, she said, explain why I have trouble expressing my mood, since my moods are but gloomy knolls. Anyway, psychosis is not at all a bad thing. Afterall, nobody views the world in the same way. Right? Um... what comes next? Why... honestly, why do I post here? I hardly know where I am. I don't understand. Is this new? Do I do this often or Shit whats going on? Where's everybody? oh god. I have to stop writing. God damn it, my bedroom is flashing in and out of the thing ahm... i feel alone... will I be better? Stop writing! This is probably awful. Don't dare to look. Just end it, ole, nice and easy. mmmm...

words on a row

2005-01-08T03:38:02Z

About a week ago, I wrote down three things I like about myself, of which one was "my kickass immunity to illness". Naturally, two days later I fell victim to a cold from Hell, one that still shakes me by the gonads like a mix-master on crystal meth. That leaves me with the following two things that I like about Ole:
"that I never seem to have trouble with my economy", and
"the others"
I do however not have the faintest idea what "the others" were supposed to mean, so in effect I'm down to the one about me being rich-ish. Oh well, at least is makes my life a lot simpler.

For some silly reason, we people tend to believe that our lives start from a blank each year. Whatever shitty, self sentered mood we were in on the 31st of december, we always think we'll be clean and fresh as an albino virgin's tit from the second the "new year" begins. This is due to our blind idolization of old systems of order, which is also the reason why we think it's of outmost importance to celebrate everything that's divisible by 10 or 5. In sad recognition of being a prime example of these naive superstitions, I present my list of new years resolutions:

* get a job (one that pays in actual currency this time)
* carry out at least two "creative" actions each day
* learn seven classical pieces on piano/organ by heart
* get certificate for driving big, wheely things, like lorries
* read more
* be decisive

...and here follows a list of items which, for one reason or another, was removed from my list, or was too hopeless to make it onto the list in the first place:

* get a girlfriend
* stop whining
* dedicate my life to helping others
* travel abroad
* do acid
* kill God
* write a novel
etc

So, this is Ole?

2004-12-30T17:09:03Z

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Ole Martin Epland Bentsen
el Mal
the Calf

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
Grossenhosen
Khem
Judas

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My kickass immunity to illness
That I never seem to have trouble with my economy
The others

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
That I'm still alive
My maggoty whining about things I don't like
That even though I truely loathe myself, myself is all I think about

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
Norwegian
Foreigner
Wolf

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
Instincts
People
Sex

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Melancholy
Medicine
Milk

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
White hospital pants
White hospital shirt
White hospital robe

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists (at the moment)):
Johann Sebastian Bach
Kid Loco
Ulver

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
"Moonlight Sonata" by Beethoven
"Exercise 1" by Bent
"Starlight" by... um... some disco dudes

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
Waking up
My limits
Being ok

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
A girl (preferably)
Assimilation
the End of the World

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
Garth Ennis wrote a brilliant sequel to "Enemy Ace"
Grossenhosen means "big trousers" in german
Keanu Reeves is a talented actor

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Belly
Nose
Ears

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
Think straight
Stop complaining
Eat myself

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
Drawing
Pondering
Looking for hobbies

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Become a blob
Wake up
Have a proper desire

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
Undertaker
Janitor
Evil villain

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
Legoland
Mexico
Egypt

THREE KID'S NAMES:
Grim
Closetta
Blargh

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Not
a whole
lot

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DO THIS, OR ELSE...:
Zrb
Izzle
Gnomulfen